Solar Eclipse . . . Chilling With The Moon

Today was pretty awesome, the solar eclipse gave me life. I’m totally a “look at the moon and stars girl” it’s kind of my thing. Therefore I was alllll the way in a zone, an almost unexplainable zone. I felt light, happy, joyful, peaceful and very positive about my life. I declared patience, love, marriage, happiness, wealth (in not just finances but my spirit and soul), health, and positivity. IMG_1146

New moon, new beginnings . . . IMG_1142

I think I may have had the best view in the city (Atlanta/Decatur). I viewed the Solar Eclipse at Fernbank Science Center, on the roof of the observatory. Strangers with a common goal came together; we laughed, awed from amazement, we ducked from the sun, we took pictures, we took turns faning one another because we had forgoten our water but somehow in this 90 degree weather we had our chairs. How sway! All in all, despite the heat; I had an awesome time viewing an amazing phenomenon with totally strangers.

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Until next time, 2024 to be exact; love, light, laughter, good vibes and positive thoughts.

Happy New Moon! 😘🌛

 

 

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DIY Natural Deodorant

Them: Girl you smell good, what are you wearing?

Me: Oh, that’s just my natural Deodorant, that I make myself.

Them: Wow, really! Can you make me some or tell me how you make it?

So, this is how my conversation usually goes. Okay, not really but yea, folks are constantly asking me how I make my deodorant . . . So, I decided to write about it.

After changing my eating habits about 5 years ago, gradually came change within many other areas in life. One of those changes included using only natural products when it came to my body. I tried “natural deodorants” and they just didn’t work. I even reverted back to the chemically infused deodorants; however; after countless painful armpit lumps and hours of research about how awful the chemicals in store-bought deodorants were, I came across a blog post from WellnessMama (I love her site by-the-way, she always has the most awesome natural tips) about making Natural Deodorant. I tried it and it DID NOT WORK, It would wear off within hours and I’d be smelling like a little grown boy. *sigh* So, guess what, I went right back to using the bad stuff . . . Trial and error at it’s worse.

Fast forward to about 8 months ago, I decided to give it another try. Whoop, whoop, success . . . I finally whipped up a batch of deodorant that allowed me to remain “so fresh and so clean clean” throughout the day. I simply tested a few batches until one worked good enough. Even during this stage, I burned my armpits from using too much baking soda; however, I didn’t revert back, I just adjusted. Finally I can say, I have a Natural DIY Deodorant that works.

So, whats in it?

Coconut oil: Raw Extra Virgin NonGMO Garden of Life or Spectrum Organic Virgin – Unrefined  NonGMO

Shea Butter – Unrefined (optional) **I used this in a recent batch, haven’t tried it yet**

Baking Soda: Arm and Hammer

Essential Oil: Lavender, Peppermint, etc. (Optional) I use Aura Cacia brand

I usually don’t use measure; however, if you’re a person that need measurements, use:

3 Tbsp of Coconut Oil

3 Tbsp of Baking Soda

2 Tbsp of Shea Butter (optional)

A few drops of Essential Oil (optional)

This recipe doesn’t require refrigeration; however, mix before each use (I only need to use it once per day, that’s how well it works for me) as the ingredients separate as they sit. I use my finger(s) to apply to my armpit.

**Bonus** When I sweat, I have the sweetest aroma, I often sniff myself throughout the day (girl you smell good). That Peppermint and Lavender oil aroma is the bomb.

That’s it for now . . . Now go make your own and tell me how you like it. I promise you won’t go back to using that chemically infused stuff. If I can get my 215 pound, 6’2″ manly man of a mate to use it and LOVE it; I promise you’ll love it too. Thank me later!

XOXO, Happy Natural Armpits! 

 

“Girls Trip” . . . Are you the girlfriend that’s afraid to be alone?

Today was a difficult day for me, from the time I awakend until now; it’s been a tough day. I struggled to get through my work day, with so much on my mind; life, relationships, my career, my children, finances and the list goes on . . . I felt like running away. I just didn’t want to “adult” today. So, as I sat at my desk, in what felt like internal misery; I counted down to 2:00. I had already made up in my mind that I needed a little me time, a good laugh and bad snacks.

I stopped at the dollar tree, grabbed a few bad snacks. Anyone that knows me, knows I’m a health nut; Non-GMO, organic, blah blah blah. Any-who, M&Ms and sour patch kids in hand, I headed to to see Girls Trip. I’d heard rave reviews, so I was excited to see it and especially laugh; it was definitely needed. I stopped by the concession stands, if I was not going to “adult” today, I was going all out. GMO non vegan buttery popcorn, boy oh boy was it smelling delightful and a big ass cherry slushy . . . that’s all that was on my mind. “That’ll be $14.75”, – Says the clerk . . . “For what?” – I responded . . . I was not about to pay $9 for a small GMO popcorn. Girl bye, I got Non-GMO kernels at the house (in my head) . . . “Girl, I’ll just take a slushy”. . . To my surprise they had a new flavor, why not, strawberry lemonade mixed with a side of cherry, I was in “I’m not adulting today” heaven. Bad snacks in hand, I headed over to theater 6, to my delight I got the perfect middle seat. My personal me time had begun.

“Hahahaha” – laughter filled the theater . . . “Girl you’re a fool if you stay with him” . . . “Whoop that home-wrecker ass” . . . “You don’t need him”.

As I listened to all the conversations around me, I couldn’t help but think:
Do most women see a little of themselves in Ryan, are most of us afraid to be alone. Do we stay longer than we should. Does our ability to forgive so easily notion acceptance. When is it time to give-up and walk away. When does talking about the same thing, over and over again, expecting a different result; become insanity. When does comfort become indulging. When does contentment turn to familiarity. When does staying silent pretending not to give a damn heal your “hidden” pain. When do excuses become normalcy. When does I’m sorry no longer have meaning. When does a day of happiness gives hope shortly after, disappointment. When does a million reasons to leave become the same reasons you stay.

All along but I’m not lonely ~ Sabrina Claudio (Confidently lost) More like, not alone but I’m lonely. Is this what women of such status (Women like Ryan) go through?! Is status they important; so much so that we endure . . . Pain and loneliness. “I’m married but behind closed doors my relationship is worthless”, “I’m married but he cheats, but at least I know about it”, “I’m married but at least I got a man” . . . Is this what marriage is about, acceptance of someone’s bs to appease the masses?!

Are most women that are successfully in their careers willing to accept a mediocre mate, simply for a “status”?!

Are you that girlfriend who’s a Ryan?

 

Black Love

The first time you fell in love, do you remember it? The good times, the laughter, the heartache, the time you listened to that one song (on repeat) and it helped heal a broken heart that you thought you’d never recover from, that first “I love you”, late night phone conversations about the future, butterflies in your stomach when their name appeared across your caller ID, a smile as bright as the sun just from the thought of them, their walk makes you smile – blush – fantasize – weak . . . the very first time you realized that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with this one human. Yes, that kind of love!

I know that love is universal; however, there’s something magnificent about Black Love. You see there’s something special about love shared between a black man and a black woman. Perhaps I’m bias because I’m a black woman that’s experienced Black Love . . . Or maybe it’s just that magical. Either way, it’s beautiful.

A love that society paints a picture of as “lacking”, nonexistence, toxic and rare . . . RARE, I don’t believe it because the love that I know, the love that I see through my family and friends, that Black Love; it’s amazingly awesome and it’s totally relevant.

Love: An intense feeling of deep affection. ~Google

Black Love: A connection between a black man and a black woman on a level just beneath God. Physical, mental, emotional, spiritual . . . a combination that creates this wonderful synergy. A black woman and black man who truly understands their existence in relation to one another. ~Blakverb 

Fearless Love: Despite Obstacles, Black Love Is ‘Incredibly Resilient And Beautiful’~Rahel Gebreyes

See despite what “they” may say, whoever “they” may be; our love is revolutionary. Although as a race we’ve suffered immensely, we’re still growing strong. So forget what they may say . . . Kings, love on your black Queens; don’t allow anyone to tear them down, protect them and lift them up. Queens, Love on your black Kings; don’t allow the media to portray them as anything less than the outstanding Kings that they are.

BLACK MAN . . .

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Hidden Figures: A Black Girl’s POV

Here I am, sitting in my car, black girl joy written all across my face. img_6958I just finished watching one of the most amazing, motivating, uplifting and encouraging movies that I’ve seen in a very long time. Honestly, I don’t know where to begin, I don’t know how to fully explain nor express this joy, happiness, excitement . . . this new-found hope, during one of the most pivotal times in history, a time where not many of us (persons of color) occupy within us, those four small letters, with such a powerful meaning: HOPE. This movie couldn’t have come at a better time. At a time alike then (1940’s) racial division and discrimination is regaining its strength. I can only but hope this movie encourages others to be more kind, less judgemental and open minded about our external differences. The color of ones skin does not define our beauty, our brilliance nor our abilities to be great.

As I sat there by myself, in a theater surrounded by mostly Caucasian men/women, I couldn’t help but wonder how they would feel, and what they were thinking. Would this movie make as much of an impact on their lives as it was making on mine? For a moment I was overcome by an array of emotions. There was an instance when I wanted to gust with laughter, then I wanted to leap from my seat to cheer on their bravery. I wanted to applaud with pride because women who looked just like me, were breaking barriers and winning. Unsettling emotions soon followed, where there were moments that I wanted to shout with anger, for I couldn’t imagine living in a time as such. I was even afflicted by the “love-bug spell” of emotion, Black Love . . . oh, what a beautifully amazing thing. And then there was a moment when tears furled down my cheeks, but my sadness instantaneously turned into joy . . . black girl joy. I was joyful to know that through all the adversities, through all the struggles, through all the setbacks; these three amazing black women excelled. Despite racial and gender inequality, these women succeeded. Yes, they had to work twice as hard to achieve half of what their Caucasian/male counterparts could achieve without thought; however, even with delays they attained the “impossible”.

Here’s to Black Excellence, Black Love, and Black Women sticking together . . . “If one of us makes it, then we all make it”. That one quote spoke volume; sisterhood at its finest. If only we’d work together, oh the places we’d go and the things we’d achieve.

If you haven’t gotten a chance to see Hidden Figures, please go out and support this wonderful film (untold and undocumented, until now; black history), and amazingly talented cast. Taraji, Octavia and Janelle did an amazing job; you ladies rock!

Until next time . . . I’ll be waiting on my Jim Johnson! 😘

2017 New Year Goals

The year dedicated to thriving, fulling dreams, reaching and achieving ALL my goals, cutting debt, happiness, wealth . . . 2017 goals on BOOM.

As another year comes to an end and the New Year approaches . . . In three days to be exact; I can’t but think . . . “Where on earth did this year go” (as if I don’t say this every year). Seriously, this year swiftly came and is almost over. For me; this means starting fresh, setting new goals, and hopefully sticking to my “list”. Yea, that’s a task in itself. However; after this past year (2016), I think I’m pretty confident that I’ll stick to my “list”, this time around.

2016 It started off pretty good; however, hasn’t ended on the best note. Nothing worth complaining about, just a little rough, some disappointments, mistakes, etc.

At any rate, moving right along. I increased my income greatly this past year; however, I have nothing to show for it. Woomp woomp . . . I know, terrible right. Sh😩t happens, but listen; it’s ok, lesson learned. So, back to what I was saying above (line 14 – Did you really go look? haha), about being confident that 2017 will be epic and that I’ll surely stick to my “list”. I can say this with grave confidence because for me, 2016 has been a historic year, YES historic . . . I failed at money management, goal setting, debt decreasing, credit cards overdrawn, multiple overdraft fees, late payments, credit score declining, etc. etc.; again,  lesson learned. Yep, I said it; woo what a relief. I admitted that I screwed over my relationship with money this past year. Yep, me; Ms. “Seemingly” Perfect Pattie aka Tomika.

So, what does this mean for 2017? Well, for starters:

1) I’ve already written down my goals; I will decrease my debt, I will increase my credit score, I will increase my savings by $5000, I will start the home buying process; therefore I’ll be ready to purchase the beginning of 2018 . . . Just to name a few.

2) I decided to join the Live Richer Challenge (Credit Edition) by The Budgetnista

3)  I’m raising my credit score without another credit card. Yea me!! Self Lender  I learned about this awesome credit builder tool through The Budgetnista. Credit Building is one of my main goals for 2017 (there’s a home on the horizon for the family and I). If you decide to get a credit builder account, please use my code Tomika Credit Builder Code  Thanks in advance! I’m so looking forward to building my credit in this manner.

4) I’m not spending unnecessary money.

5) I won’t be eating out excessively.

6) I won’t be impulse shopping.

7) I’ll be saying NO a lot more. And it’s totally ok. And I won’t feel bad about it.

8) Less complaining, more accomplishing

9) Getting rid of the words fear, afraid, what-if, maybe and replacing them with success, I am going to, I will, etc.

10) Last but definitely not least and, an always important factor . . . Love more and give more of myself, time, energy, to things and individuals that matter.

So, this is my list; for now. I’m sure as the year progresses, I’ll add more things to my “list”.

What are some of your goals? Do you have a list? What are you doing to achieve these goals?

Any-who, until next time, have an awesome end to your 2016 year. Blessings upon blessings. Have a happy and prosperous New Year.

I tried a new product . . . The Mane Choice

Ok, so I’m not a product person, typically my natural hair regimen consist of water, water, more water, organic virgin coconut oil and a little edge control. That’s it! I wash my hair with any product that doesn’t contain a full load of harsh chemicals, nothing fancy or anything.

Any-who, I had been hearing about The Mane Choice products and would always see ads on my timeline via Facebook. I never thought to purchase their products, simply because, again, I’m just not a product girl.

So, while in Target the other day, I knew it was time for a wash, and that I was in need of some more conditioner. As I’m browsing the shelves, there it was; I thought “what the hey-hey-hey”. I’m going to try something new for a change. I had no idea Target sold their products.

Long story short, I bought the 3 in 1 co-wash, leave in, detangler and let’s just say, I won’t be purchasing another conditioner, I’m sold on this product.

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My hair was not only easy to detangle, but my hair didn’t shrink as much as it usually does. Sidebar: I have a really tight, extra curly hair pattern, my hair is reallly thick also and shrinkage and I are cousins (first cousins). Okay, back to my story . . .

My hair was really, really, soft and felt very moisturized.

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The smell is a plus also. ❤️ After my hair dried, I expected the normal shrinkage and tightness to take place, nope; my hair is still soft and didn’t shrink to my extra tight curl pattern. My hair feels fluffy; like a feather or maybe a pillow, I don’t know; like a cloud. Well I don’t know what a cloud actually feels like, but it looks fluffy.😊  Again, back to my point . . . Lol

My hair is currently, after 2 days, manintaing some length and it’s still soft and not dry. My hair usually dries out fast, I normally have to mist my hair many times a day with my water and coconut oil mix. Surprislying I haven’t had to. 

I may have to try their other products. For now, I’m sold on this 3 in 1. Go try it for yourself!

Have a happy wash day!